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On 9/11/2002
Speedy
wrote in from
(129.8.nnn.nnn)
Reflections on my Wheeled Toys
"Why" they wonder. Sometimes, I do to. "They're toys," I think, "And I'm 20. A grown man, for Christ's sake! Most people past 15 or so don't play on skateboards anymore." But I do. Why? Soul, my friends, soul. What? No, I can't explain that to you. Soul isn't something you strive for. Soul is like love: you find it only when you stop looking, and when you question it, it's not. Likewise, you never say "Now. Right now. This is it. This is soul!" You only look back and say "Wow, that was soulful."
I ride my boards in the dead of night. Or perhaps very, very slow. Or right through the crowds, without touching one pedestrian tragedy, all the while thinking "Why don't they ride? They could be so happy!" Because they haven't been enlightened, I supose. My boards- four feet, or more. "So how is that soul?" You ask. It's riding for the sake of riding, for joy, for purest pleasure. On a board that long, you don't hop up the curb. Realizing this is longboarding. But choosing not to, that's soul. Knowing you can't hop up, loving that, taking the long way just to glide on that beautiful toy of laminated wood and polyurothane wheels. That's soul.
Soul is when you step on that board, and life disapears. Zen states "there is no board"; soul states "there is nothing but the board." Because soul is a state of mind. It's the state of mind of finding your center, and then racing it to the next stop sign. Soul is when you refuse to let your best friend put your board in the car, because he might ding it, but letting the six year old you've never seen before take it and ride it all over. Because the kid has soul. The child rides for joy. Yes, they're toys, but isn't it true that the only people in need of religion are "grown ups"? Children don't need this crutch to maintain faith. Children have soul. If being a child gives you soul... Does soul make you a child? If so, then perhaps I would not want to be a grown man after all. Perhaps I am a child, playing on a toy. A being consisting of soul, whos lifeblood, whose very essence is soul, who never tires of riding that toy around in circles, just for the pleasure of gliding for a little while.
If you ask Beethoven why he played piano, he wouldn't have answered "to earn money." He would have answered "To make music." Likewise, I don't ride my board to get anywhere, elthough that is a byproduct. I ride to make music- to lay down one sweet turn after another, a row of perfectly symetrical carves down the exact center of the road. Beethoven was deaf- he didn't need to hear his music to convey his emotions. Hearing it himself would have been a perk, but hardly a necesity to this genius. To a soulcarver, hearing the music is all that matter; what others experience is absolutely irrelevant, because we know that if there is soul, they will see it.
You may think I have done what I set out telling you I can't do- explaining what soul is. But the fact of the matter is that if you think this, then I haven't. I have only told you what soul feels like. If you recognized it in yourself, then I congratulate you: You, too, have soul. Whatever you do to ask your soul to come out and play, be proud of it. Not everyone has found their soul. Enjoy it as much as you can, and remember- there is nothing but the board.
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