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Crashing Stories (1418 Posts)
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Crashing Stories |
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On 8/30/1998 Spanky Malone
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Walk the hill before you bomb it! It's really that simple. You have no clue what you are going to run in to, I hear this story over and over again, this is'nt rocket science, use your noggin' for something besides planting in to the gutter. Spanky is loose!
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On 8/30/1998
tyler
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I should of known spank would of had to say something about it. But it was dark out. I didn't see it. It's not my fault
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On 8/29/1998 Spanky Malone
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Tyler, you are a meathead.
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On 8/29/1998
tyler
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allright here is my story. I was crusin around one night and there is this hospital like 4 blocks away from me. So I make my way on over to the hospital. (you have to do this at night because during the day the security weenies ride around on golf carts and chase you out but they go really slow) So I am at the hospital and i'm going around in the parking garage and that gets kinda old. So i decide to go outside of the parking garage and see what I find. Well I saw this sweet nectar hill. I have dubbed it "the promise land" until this night. I thought "What the heck I will go down it anyway" This was on my old board a flexdex pro41 gullwings and route62 kryptos. So I start going down and pumping it some then I thought I will just see how fast I can go. So I start going straight down and little did I know that there was a drain that went acrosse the whole stupid hill. So my front wheels get stuck in this drain thing and I fly of my board with my arms waving around and stuff. I hit the concrete and my knees are like pizza. My hands are all scraped up. My legs had cuts all over them. It was sick. I didnt think to go in the hospital because maybe the security weenies were in there. So I just went up got my board and went home. I then procedded to put no more ouchies on my booboo and I learned to scout my hills from now on. later
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On 8/29/1998 Spanky Malone
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Marc, ever hear of blood born Pathogens? Do a little research, then decide if those girls were grossed out or just concerned for thier safety.
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On 8/29/1998 Spanky Malone
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Jamie, do you know what "natural selection" is? Ever hear of the "Darwin Awards"? Did you know that hitting your head and knocking yourself out is a sign that you might be an alcoholic, besides being a threat to yourself and others? Food for thought bro, keep a cool tool and don't let your meat loaf! Spanky's slidin'!
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On 8/29/1998 Spanky Malone
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Man Jon, that was a rough couple of days you had there. Get a new girlfriend and then knock your self out and see if she dumps you...I'm curious if these two events correlate. Spanky's baaack!
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On 8/26/1998
Jon Olivieri
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The worst crash I ever had was when I was carving a huge hill and I got dead-weight from a rock and it all happened durring my in-turn and there were cars parked on both sides of the road and I went flying into a mini-van and spraind my wrist and was out cold for one hour, then the day after my girlfriend dumped me.
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On 8/26/1998
jamie
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I've read these stories in the past and never thought I'd be writing one...I've even ridden my board while piss drunk and holding onto the side of my friend's car while he'd tow us back up a hill so we could ride it again...but my luck ran out last week when I was bombing a 6-level parking garage from top to bottom at midnight in boston...as I ran down the last ramp, there's a sharp right hand turn to the outside, which normally wouldn't have been a problem except on this day it had been raining for about 10 minutes - so in mid-turn I hit the slick stuff, water and oil, and my board shot out from under me as back I went...the back of my skull apparently took all the impact as I smacked it on the pavement, passed out, had a seizure, got up, vomited, and consequentially can't remember the next 15 minutes. My friend watched me from my car in the rear; that's how I know what happened. An ambulance came, but I was so out I turned it away because I didn't think I was hurt. Then I realized I had a big gash in my head, so my friend drove me to the hospital where they stitched up my skull. I get them out tomorrow. I think I may invest in a helmet.
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On 8/24/1998
marc
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I was offroading in a gorge that we have here in Tassie Australia and was going around a hair pin corner on gravel. You just have to slide the board around with no real traction and wham the board slid right out and I landed on my elbow, it was a mess blood and skin everywhere. Any way I had to go to youth group that night and I didn't have time to get it cleaned up properly or change my shirt so here I am and I tell you what blood grosses girls out, there was a 5 metre radius that they just wouldn't enter they were all just totaly grossed. Moral of the story? wash your injuries if you actualy want to speak to them.
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On 8/20/1998
Scott Solmonson
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Drugs and longboarding dont mix? Sure they do Spanky. I'm not saying for pushing the limits of your high speed stability- But for a mellow cruise around town it's cool.
Oh yeah- my female is almost ready to bud. Mmmmmmmmm...
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On 8/18/1998
skategeezer
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You know you are tempting the longboard gods when you attach rollerblade wheels to your 46" longboard-but that's exactly what our friend and fellow Metro Longboarder Martin S. did two weeks ago here in Toronto. Martin is a hardcore rider who has already endeared himself to the group as the most mental balls of steel madman ever to ride here in hogtown-but this ride is sure to create even a bigger legacy. Cruising around High Park, the group split up and Martin found a nasty track (maybe 12 feet in width) screaming downward toward some ducks. He bailed-broke a toe and in the process ripped up a huge amount of his skin. Martin skates without a shirt. No worries though, it was a quick hop over to the '72 Benz and Martin was on the phone calling for backup (which I believe came in the form of some ever attentive female!) Hopefully, Martin will manage to join us on the 30th, until then, let the healing commence!
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On 8/17/1998 Spanky Malone
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Good man Dex, drugs and longboarding never do mix, never will. You aren't a meathead anymore! Spanky Loves everyone!
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On 8/17/1998
DEX
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No drugs. No alcohol. Just plain stupidity. I have to admit that I totally forgot about it too until it was right in front of me and Ben was skidding to a stop. The pavement was smooth, the banked turns unbelievable, it was sheer euphoria. Drugs, boards and 45mph don't mix. I may be a meat head, but I don't mix the unmixable.
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On 8/16/1998 Spanky Malone
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I don't know about the rest of you out there, but if I was bombing a 7 mile hill at 45 mph I would certainly not forget a friggin' cattle grate at the bottom of the muther!! Dex , I think you boyz musta dropped acid before you dropped on that hill, you meathead!
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On 8/12/1998
DextrerTMorphine
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The other night BenYdrill and I were riding a raging mountain wave in Utah. We've since clocked about 45 mph. the entire ride is about 7 miles. Ben was leading the way. He must have been over come by the euphoria because he totally forgot about the grate cattle guard at the bottom. Have any of you ever seen what happens what happens when a skate drops into one of these at 40+mph. Its not pretty. Stitches, unending road rage, broken collar bone and three hours indergoing some serious head examinaitons. I'm just glad Ben got the first drop that night. Ride on just as Ben is. Even with the sling he has more soul than most cats. He is limiting himself to speeds of about 25mph until his collar bone is healed. Let's all take a few raging runs in the name of freedom.
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On 8/4/1998 Spanky Malone
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Jeremiah, your Cosmic Rider might have been "dent frree", but yo head sho ain't! Spankys groov'in outta here!
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On 8/3/1998
Jeremiah
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About a year ago at around 2 a.m. i was casually skating down Wardlow hill (in long beach california) and this hill isn't very big but cars fly down this thing, and these girls came on the side of me and started lookin' at me , so i started lookin' back,but then they speed away w/ me lookin' and there was a red light in the direction i was going and i didn't see it until i was in the intersection , and thats when i was hit by Suburban . I broke my arm and leg,and part ofmy spleen had to be removed , but in the end my Cosmic Rider was dent free!!
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On 7/16/1998 Kboy
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Wow Boof, that sounds pretty painful! I bet next time you check your trucks to make sure nothing is getting ready to fall off! Alot of the ski mountains here in CA are starting to offer offroad. I want to try it! Kboy
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On 7/14/1998 Spanky Malone
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BOOF 98, what kind of "grass" you were on? Spanky Loves Ya, Man!
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On 7/14/1998 BOOF 98
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YEAH WELL IT WAS A HOT DAY HERE IN OZ. ME AND MY MATES HAD BEEN LOOKIN FOR A DECENT GRASS HILL TO CRUISE DOWN ON OUR OFFROAD SKATEBOARDS. AFTER AN HOURS SEARCHIN WE FOUND THIS SICK AND VERY STEAP PART OF A GOLF COURSE THAT MERGED WITH A CARPARK. AFTER TESTING THE GRASS FOR SOFT SPOTS WE GOT SOME SPEED ON THE PATH THEN WENT OFF DOWN THE GRASS HILL. HALF WAY DOWN AND FULLY RIPPIN IT, MY NEWLY PURCHASED NUT CAME UNDONE AND FLEW OFF WHICH WAS FOLLOWED BY MY NEW BONES BEARINGS,THE WHEEL MADE ITS WAY OFF TOO WHICH MADE MY TRUCK DIG INTO THE GRASS. MY DECK HAS RECENTLY BEEN FITTED WITH FOOT STRAPS FOR SUPPORT AND TRICKS AND WITH MY FEET FIRMLY PLANTED IN THEM I WENT ALONG FOR THE RIDE ASWELL. I ENDED UP ROLLING AND FLIPPING DOWN THE REST OF THE HILL WITH THE BOARD MAKING COUNTLESS HITS WITH MY HEAD UNTIL I STOPPED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CARPARK.I WAS CUT TO THE SHITS AND MISSING MY BEARINGS. AFTER AN HOUR OF WHINGING AND UNSUCCESSFULL LOOKIN WE RETURNED LATER THAT DAY FOR MORE OFFROAD CRUIZING ON THE SAME HILL. YOU MIGHT THINK WHAT A PUSSY ITS ONLY GRASS BUT YOU'D BE SUPRISED HOW MUCH IT CAN CUT AND F@*K UP YOUR BODY.
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On 7/13/1998 Spanky Malone
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Sorry Robert, you are right Kboy, I thought he meant the board! I forgot about the reward! Spanky stands corrected!
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On 7/13/1998 Kboy
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Robert,
I assume you meant the twenty bucks? I would have gladly given it. Spanks, let's not be so quick to judge. Kboy
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On 7/11/1998 Spanky Malone
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Go away Robert, we don't want guys like you around here.
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On 7/10/1998
Robert
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(In reply to Kboy's Story)...i would have taken it.
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